To the Rescue
by Dimpled
Summary: After several flaws in their relationship, Elphaba and Fiyero move towards a break up. But Glinda knows she can bring them together, using a set of plans she made and the help of her supporting friends. All her plans include are makeovers and dresses. And a gorilla. And maybe stealing a car. But hey. Glinda made the plans. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

"I'm breaking up with him."

The bright day at Shiz University had taken a dark turn. Glinda's sweeping blond hair sprang in all directions, her cerulean eyes threatening to start a downpour of tears. After all Elphie and Yero had been through...they were going to break up?

"But why?" Glinda asked, her bottom lip wobbling. "has he been moodfied lately?"

"Worse." Elphaba cringed a bit at Glinda's grammar but then sighed and flopped back on her bed, her arms stretching out and fiercingly grabbing the covers. "He hasn't been studying."

"Studying," Glinda shot her friend a look of disbelief and anger as she tasted the word on her tongue. "_that's _why you broke up with him? For _studying_?"

"Not just for studying, Glinda. And I haven't broken up with him yet. He's just been...negative. He doesn't want to learn, he doesn't want to grow up. All he wants to do is kiss me."

"That's not true, Elphie." Glinda twirled a golden curl around her finger. "Maybe...maybe he's just worried because final exams are coming up. I mean, if I were a scandalicious prince like him, I'd be totally moodified."

"It's something else, too," Elphaba said, her dark hair hanging from her head as she leaned up on the bed. Her emerald face slid its eyes closed, as if willing everything to be untrue. "He's...been thinking."

Glinda's blond eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "But I thought that's what you liked in him?"

"It was." Elphaba turned on her side and started to doodle in her notebook, then quit and scratched out all of the comic hearts and E+F.

"He's just...I mean, I know that he's wanted to break up with me for a while. I looked up the "hints" that boys drop when they want to break up with you, and everything fits."

"Like what?" Glinda's curls bobbled as she took Elphaba's hand.

"Ok. Here's the first: 'Avoiding eye contact.'"

Glinda thought for a minute. "Maybe he just had something in his eye?"

"'Not calling very often.'"

"Studying, for you maybe?"

"'Looking at other girls as if he liked them.'"

"Well, it's Fiyero, Elphie."

Elphaba suddenly buried her face in her pillow and groaned. "I hate being a girfriend."

"Aw, Elphie..." Glinda rubbed her freind's back. She hated seeing Elphaba upset. She almost never smiled as it was. But Glinda knew Elphaba and Fiyero had some sort of magic together that could bond them. Always.

"Maybe you just need to give Fiyero space." Glinda offered kindly.

Elphaba snorted. "Space? Ha! That sucker is always dancing in those yoga pants and tagging too many pretty girls for his own good."

Glinda inwardly gasped and held Elphaba's hand tighter. This was really, really bad. Yero and Elphie were always so compatible. Why did it have to change now?

Glinda walked over to the door and pulled on her favorite coat. She had to see what else was going on in the Thropp-Tiggular relationship.

* * *

"Tell me why you hate Elphie?" Glinda asked the Vikun prince that evening. Fiyero rolled his eyes and moved to put down his magazine, but he was stopped as Glinda snatched it from his hands.

"Yero!" She exclaimed, flipping through its contents. "This is...not just cars and carriages!"

Fiyero's eyes lit up mischievously. "what do you mean?"

"Oh, you mean you haven't noticed that this woman's half-naked?"

"It's just a magazine, Glinda."

The blonde slapped the magazine to her legs and grabbed Fiyero's ear.

"How could you?"

Glinda's pretty blue eyes pooled with tears as she thought back to when Fiyero and Elphaba loved each other. It seemed so close to yesterday, with them both flashing goo-goo eyes at each other and kissing at the end of class. Now they hated each other? Because Fiyero slacked off and Elphaba wasn't listening. What else could go wrong?

* * *

"Guys? I have to talk to you."

Glinda sat down at the lunch table the next day, wrinkling her nose at the stale macaroni and cheese that was served for lunch. Glinda carefully scooted her chocolate cake away from the disgusting substance and pulled her silk pink scarf closer to her neck, determined not to let it touch the food.

Avaric, Boq, Pfannee, ShenShen, and Nessarose looked back at her curiously.

"Ness, it's about your sister," Glinda said promptly, waiting for a reaction.

"What about her?" Nessarose's green eyes narrowed. She was always very sensitive towards her sister and her unnatural complexion. If anyone mentioned Elphie's skin, Nessarose and a Biblical sermon summoned.

"Her and Fiyero. You know, the one she was dating?"

"He comes to my dorm every night, Glinda. I know him."

"Anyway, they're...um...moving towards a break up."

Her friends gasped.

"Why?" ShenShen failed at an attempt to sound sorry. But everyone knew she'd been eyeing Fiyero for a while.

Glinda ignored her friend and folded her hands on the table.

"I wrote a secret plan last night on how to bring them together."

Nessarose folded her arms. "Not to appear rude, Glin, but does it include dances again? Because, if you remember, Boq wasn't too happy about..."

"No, it doesn't," Glinda laughed as she unfolded the large piece of paper on the table. It was covered in words, pictures, and photos of the said couple.

"Guys? Tonight, our first plan goes into action."

The other people at the table all became silent for a moment, listening to the chattering crowds.

Avaric smirked. "Are you sure about this, babe? I'm not saying it's unwise, but..."

"Avaric, it's made by me," Glinda grinned, flipping back her curly blonde locks. "What on earth could possibly go wrong?"


	2. Chapter 2

"All righty, my minions," Glinda said as she looked around the living room in her private dorm. She had earlier forced Elphaba and Fiyero to go out as the pre-begun plan, and now her supporters (Nessa, Avaric, Shenshen, Pfannee, and Boq) looked up at her from their places crossed-legged (except Nessarose) on the floor.

"'Minions'?" Avaric scoffed. "What the hell? Glin, babe. If you're gonna have a name for us, let it be something practical."

"It's perfectly practical," Glinda huffed. "I am Glinda, the leader. And you are my minions. It's sort of code for the OGFAEBTP. Or Ogfab, if you took out the E to make it easier. I guess the TP would be silent."

"Ogfab?" Shenshen's eyebrow lifted.

"Short for Operation Get Elphie And Fiyero Back Together."

"You didn't need the A for And in the acronym," Said Nessa.

"Whatever. Ogfab is about to start." Glinda tossed her hair and stepped onto the stage she'd made for herself out of the large encyclopedias from the library. "Question: What do girls look for in a boy? Style. That's something Fiyero needs. Those carriages probably make Elphaba sick. He needs a bit more oomph. That's why tonight we're going to get him a car."

"Not mine!" Said AVaric and Shenshen quickly.

"No, of course not, sillies," Glinda adopted a sweet smile, "I decided to get him the all-new, 50 horse powered cherry red Ozcar with built in boomboxes and a convertible hood."

"Ha. You'll get that car for all the money in Gillikin." Pfannee smirked.

"Not if we use Madame Morrible's," Glinda smiled.

A silence crept over the room like a blanket. It was true that the principal had managed to get the merchandise. But if Glinda was saying...

"What? You mean, steal it?" Boq sputtered. "Miss Glinda!"

"Oh, it wouldn't be stealing, really." Glinda reasoned. "Just...borrowing."

"Without permission!?"

"Count me out," Said Shenshen. "I don't need another detention."

"Same." Said Nessa, Boq, and Pfannee.

Avaric said nothing as the others left. He stared up at Glinda, twirling his quill around his fingers.

"I guess its just you and me, babe. What do you need?"

Glinda answered with a mischievous smile.


	3. Chapter 3

"I hate black, though!" Glinda whined.

Avaric ignored her and shoved the rest of her blonde curls up into Elphaba's black knitted cap, which matched her dark outfit to steal the car. Glinda huffed and looked outside the window at the black night, lit by not nearly enough stars. The moon was a crescent tonight, so that didn't provide enough light either.

Avaric's room was lit only by his fire, and soon that would have to die down too. Why was everything so dark? Maybe it was an omen.

Avaric tugged on his black cap and handed Glinda her flashlight. "Let's go," He told her. "The sooner Tiggular gets his car, the sooner Elphaba gets back together with him."

"And thank me!" Glinda squealed and jumped. Avaric quickly rushed over and covered her mouth.

* * *

They made their way carefully out of Shiz, and crossed over to the secretary parking lot. The flashlights searched for the red car with luminous yellow circles.

"Where does Madame Morrible park?" Avaric asked his accomplice.

"In a parking space...?" Glinda rolled her eyes. "Duh."

"But doesn't she have some special parking place, like in the front of the school?"

"I don't know! I'm not the parking-whisperer." Glinda rolled her eyes. She leaned herself back to flip her hair, but huffed when she realized her curls were hidden under her cap. She sighed at her failed attempt to look glamourous, then narrowed her eyes at her accomplice.

"We have to find the car."

"Dip. I could've told you that," Aavric moved past her and swiped his flashlight in front of him. "Babe, are you sure this si gonna work? I mean, don't you know we could be kicked out for this?"

"You sound like Elphaba," Glinda whined. "Yes. We need to steal the car."

"But don't you think it's...unsafe?" Avaric suggested.

"No."

They kept walking and suddenly Avaric pulled her behind the dumpster as the luminous light from the watch tower swept across the lawns.

"This is gonna be hard," Avaric whispered as the light turned away.

They dodged the next beam of light with their backs against the wall.

Glinda admitted (inwardly, of course) that she was afraid of stealing the car. It was totally wrong and messed up. It was illegal, selfish, and terribly wicked. What if she broke a nail?

* * *

"Listen, Glinda," Avaric told her as they strode across the parking lot. Morrible's car was now in view. "Are you one hundred percent sure about this? I'm still not sure."

Glinda stared at him for a moment, then slowly pulled off her black cap and tossed her hair around.

"Oh, Avaric," She said his name in a seductive voice dripping with honey. "Don't you want me to be happy? Do you want me to be mad at you? Come on. We're all counting on you, Avaric." She ran her fingers through his wavy, salt-and-pepper hair. "Come on, honey. Let's steal a car."

Avaric's nose wrinkled. "That doesn't sound right."

"Neither does your mom's voice but you don't see me complaining!" Glinda snapped. "Ok, forget the seduction, I can't believe I touched your hair. Let's just go."

They approached the car and Glinda pulled out her bobby pin.

Jamming it in the car lock, she fished around and grunted in frustration.

"No, you need you move the pin up and down. Here." Avaric slid his hands over hers and Glinda paused. She looked up at him, a slow grin spreading on her face. She never noticed what pretty eyes Avaric had...they were grey-ish, like a storm at sea. The light wind outside blew his locks in a beautiful, dreamlike way.

In fact, he was glowing, like an angel.

Oh, wait that was the car headlights. The car unlocked.

Glinda snapped her thoughts away and climbed in with him. Starting to drive away, she thought about how happy she would be just to get home and figure herself out.

"Glinda...can you drive?" Avaric asked carefully.

"Um, yes. But I don't drive often. I'm chauffeured."

"Should I...maybe drive, Glin?"

"Nope, I'm good." Glinda turned to face him after a moment, suddenly nervous. "L-let's uh, let's make conversation."

"No, just...SHIT!"

"What? You mean, poop?" Glinda looked at him puzzled. "No! We're in Morrible's car!"

"No! WE'RE ABOUT TO HIT A TREE!"

"Stop yelling at me!" Glinda sobbed into her hands. "I thought you were my friend..."

"I am, I am! Just drive!"

"Make me, you bastard! All you care about is driving! This is our friendship!"

"DRIVE!"

"No! Friendship...first...let go!" Glinda yelled as Avaric grabbed the steering wheel and swerved them away from the tree.

After a long, terrible drive of sobbing, begging, and swerving, they finally parked in the back of the school.

Avaric slunk down in his seat. Thank God he was more alive than ever.

Literally.


	4. Chapter 4

Glinda and Avaric left the car and started back towards the school to tell Fiyero and Elphaba the happy news.

They started towards the school grounds to see Fiyero waiting there with his head down and his hands in his pockets.

"What's wrong Fifi? I got you the car I promised." Glinda's eyebrows furrowed together in concern.

"Elphaba's mad at me."

"What!?"

"I didn't know, okay? She flipped out just because I took her out to an Ozball game."

"Right. Elphie did that."

"She said she didn't feel "heard" or whatever."

Glinda tapped a finger to her chin, finally settling her cerulean eyes on her former boyfriend. "Maybe you should really think about what Elphie likes to do, not just what you like to beguddle on or whatever."

"Beguddle?"

"You know. Flibberflobber. Huboober. The things you like to do."

"Oh. Right. That makes perfect sense."

Glinda smiled and then looked over at Avaric. His forehead was sweating cold.

Fiyero noticed it too and frowned. "You alright, man?"

Avaric looked up and his voice stammered as his hands shook. "Glin...the car...we almost...Glinda...we almost...I almost...we were near death...it's all black...I see my mom...mommy." He finished in a small voice. "I'm going now...I'm going to my room to live..."

"What was that about?" Fiyero turned to Glinda.

The blonde shrugged. "I think he's upset he can't drive." She watched her accomplice trudge up the stairs to fall at the top, heaving.

"Aaanywaaay..." Glinda continued slowly. "Maybe you should go to one of her father's sermons at the church."

"As a date?"

"It's what she likes."

"You want me to go to church?" Fiyero smirked. "I believe in the Unnamed god. That's it."

"You know, sometimes cars aren't enough."

"Fine," Fiyero sighed. "I'll go to church."

Glinda clapped, pulling him into a hug. "Yes!"

* * *

"No."

"Come on, Elphie! He can be...saintly!"

"Hell to the no."

"well, that comment's not saintly!"

It had taken Glinda over forty five minutes of convincing her best friend to let the renowed prince to go to the Minister's saintly home. The results were terrible, so the blonde did what all popular women did: pushed her friend to the edge.

"Now, don't you tell me what's saintly or not, miss prissy! I bet you can't even spell saintly!"

"Can too!" her friend retorted. "S...A...A...T..."

"Nope." Elphaba smirked.

Glinda bit her lip and began again. "C...A...T...N..."

"Nuh uh."

Glinda's chin wobbled. "S...I...A..."

"No. Glin, come here." Elphaba gave her a sympathetic smile and pulled her into a hug.

"Am I going to hell?" Glinda cried.

"For not being able to spell Saintly?" Elphaba smiled. "No."

"Elphaba?" Glinda lay down with her friend on her bed, and started to play with her dark hair. "I might have done some bad things."

"Like what?" Elphaba mumbled as she turned and closed her eyes.

"I'm gossip a lot. And I dyed my hair seven times when I was young. And I never did my chores. And I'm not a virgin." She added regretfully.

Elphaba opened her eyes and looked at her friend. "You're not? How many times..."

"Only twice. Once with this guy in high school. We met at a party and he was really sweet. And then with Fiyero."

At his name, Elphaba let out a scowl. "Maybe you're right, Glin. Maybe he could use church."

"Maybe I could, too someday." Glinda sat up and started towards the door, knowing what would happen after her next comment.

"Another bad thing? I stole a car."

"WHAT!?" Elphaba's eyes popped.

"Bye Elphie!" Glinda laughed and ran out the door, with Elphaba right behind her.

"Glinda Arduenna Upland, you get back here this instant!"


	5. Chapter 5

After Elphaba had chased Glinda down around the campus, and finally hit her with magic so that the blonde floated in the air all the way back to the dorm, (and got stuck on the ceiling for two and a half hours) Elphaba had tried to ignore that coming Sunday because she knew what would come. Fiyero wouldn't know the first thing about church. If Glinda couldn't spell saintly, then he most certainly couldn't become saintly. Elphaba wasn't trying to be rude, but after all, he was Fiyero. And she would soon break up with him.

But Sunday came as it always would, with or without magic. Elphaba was surprised to see him dressed up and ready to go at the appropriate time, and it did make her want to hug him. But just a little. They left the school early to travel into centre Munchkinland, which Fiyero actually found it pretty interesting. Small munchkins were really just a stereotype. He saw several men and women his height, and even taller. But Munchkinland wasn't finished surprising the young prince. Elphaba treated him to a twisted strawberry tart and the town's finest chocolate ("Because you looked hungry," she quickly explained.) which tasted amazing.

Then the ten o' clock bell rang, and many denizens of Munchkinland started to move towards the rather large church. Fiyero, feeling guilty for not knowing anything about Munchkinland, moved closer to Elphaba and held her hand. She pulled away in a second, using both hands to play with her hair.

As they came up to the church and received a leaflet from a funny little man in a green knitted sweater, Elphaba accepted Fiyero's hand to be in hers and they moved around the church to find a seat. Suddenly, Elphaba stopped and pulled Fiyero along to the refreshment table.

"El?"

Elphaba turned to look over her shoulder, then went back to the treats, frantically stuffing her face with doughnut holes.

"I'm hungry. Are you?" She said through a mouth full of food.

"Elphaba! What in Oz's name?"

"Hey, Fiyero..." Elphaba's lip wobbled as she stammered. "W-why don't we just leave and...FATHER!"

"Elphaba."

Fiyero turned to see why Elphaba was acting so strange.

Frexspar Thropp was at least six feet tall, with strongly built body, and eyes that were exceedingly scary. They were a sharp blue that seemed to look right into your very soul. His own skin was almost unbearably pale, so much different than his daughter's. He set angry eyes on her and softly but rudely pushed her aside to see Fiyero.

"Young man," he began, "I know you, do I not? You are the prince of Vinkus."

Fiyero nodded quickly. "Yes sir. And you are Elphaba's father?"

"First lesson of manners, prince of Vinkus. Never answer a question with a question."

The oregon began to play and Frexspar gripped Fiyero's hand and shook it. "Have a seat. Perhaps you'll be forgiven."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: so sorry about the short last chapter. I saw "Now You See Me" with my friends last night and i got home at eleven, but I really wanted to update for you guys. I'm also trying to get as many chapters as possible in before I leave for vacation next month (which is four weeks long without a single update! Noooo!) so I love you all and I'll stop blabbering now.**

**p.s. thank you Maddy-fae. I love puppy dog faces. You should see my little sister's. cutest face ever!**

* * *

Fiyero took Elphaba by the arm and slid into the last row.

"God, Elphaba! Does that much edge run in your family?"

"Don't say His name in vain."

"Ok, guess so."

Elphaba scooted a bit away from him and pretended to be interested in her leaflet. After a bit she shifted uncomfortably as she felt his eyes on her.

"What?" she hissed in a whisper as the service started and the congregation broke into hymns.

Fiyero gave her a small smile and decided to put that angry face into a shocked one. Leaning over, he kissed her right on the lips and broke apart to whisper, "Don't be angry, sexy."

Elphaba leaned away, her eyes popping out of her sockets. "God, Fiyero!"

"Why, Elphaba!" Fiyero pressed a hand to his heart and feigned a disgraced expression. "Don't take His name in vain!"

Elphaba looked as if she were about to laugh before she pressed it into a thinned mouth and stood, singing along with the rest of the crowd.

* * *

The sermon continued as Frexspar spoke about love.

"Is love godly?" He questioned the crowd. "Or is it in vain? Love can easily distract young men, or insnare young women. It can mess with the mind and surge through the human body to create the need for sex. If anything, love should be strictly watched. If a man and women are not married, it is not godly for them to have a relationship."

Fiyero stood and pointed a finger at the priest. "And how will you find the right woman if you don't have a relationship?"

Elphaba turned away and looked as if she were about to cry. "Fiyero...sit down..."

"Mr. Tiser, is it?" Frex demanded.

"Tiggular, actually," Fiyero smirked.

"If you loved a woman, mr. Tiggular, would you give yourself completely away? Or save it for your future wife?"

"That's not what I'm saying." Fiyero moved out of his seat and slowly started to walk down the aisle. "What I'm really asking is, what if the woman decided to give you everything, and you knew you truly loved her? That's when you get married."

"Then that woman, Mr. Tiggular," Frexspar glared and hissed, "would be a slut."

He searched the rows for his daughter. "Like someone that I know."

"Don't you DARE talk that way about her!" Fiyero yelled. "Elphaba and I will get married someday!"

He turned, grabbed his girlfriend's arm and led her out before pushing her against the wall and pressing his lips on hers and down her neck.

"I hate you!" She screamed and ran from him without looking back. How could he stand up to her father?

suddenly a thundercloud rumbled to life above her, and she became stiff.

"Elphaba! Come back!" she could hear Fiyero yelling and running after her. Elphaba picked up speed again and started to panic as she realized all of the stores were now closed because it was sunday. She ran up to the salon and pounded on the door.

"Please! I need shelter!" She screamed as the first drops of rain started to fall.

"Elphaba! Elphaba!" Fiyero's voice was far in the distance. "Get back here! Please!"

the green woman screamed as three drops of rain fell on her arm and spread to cause her skin to burn and tear.

"Please! Anyone!" she begged as she pounded on the next store door and the next, and the next, and the next as she began to burn all over.

"Elphaba!" Fiyero's voice was so near now...and then it wasn't...as she fell to the ground in an agonizing scream. The rain cut into her like small knives.

"Elphaba!" Fiyero reached her and screamed as he saw her in pain, writhing and screaming on the ground, blood snaking out of her and colliding with the water.

Fiyero picked her up and ran down the street as she became unconscious and he finally flagged down a taxi.

"Hospital!" He begged, supporting her head in his lap. "And step on it!"


	7. Chapter 7

"How is she, doc?"

The sunlight poured through the window to gleam on the sleeping form of the green woman of Oz. It had taken her two hours of taking in medicine and sleeping the day away to heal. The burns on her skin were terrible reminders of what had happened earlier that day. And it was all Fiyero's fault.

"Well, we took a blood sample, an x-ray, and a couple doses of medicine to relieve the pain. She should be fine."

"Is she...awake?"

"She may be, but she isn't aware of what's going on around her. We looked at our records," the doctor continued, "and she has quite a backround. She is both aquaphobic and is diagnosed with Aquagenic urticaria. It's rare, but it actually ran in her family since 1937. It stopped after that for many years, becoming a carried trait until it hit little Elphaba."

"Which side of family was that?" Fiyero asked.

"Her father's," The doctor replied.

Fiyero just barely supressed a smirk. Of course.

"She should stay overnight." The doctor smiled sadly and patted Fiyero's shoulder. "It for the best."

* * *

The next day, Elphaba's eyes fluttered open only to squeeze shut as the sunlight nearly blinded her. She got out of the hospital bed and staggered to the window and pulled the shade down. Once her eyes adjusted, she looked around the room and saw that it was small, with white quoin walls and a cracking ceiling. There were two windows; one to her left and one in front her her, which was closed, and a small bureau with a pot of flowers and an old small mirror. She stumbled over and pressed her palms on it and looked at the green woman staring back at her.

Her eyes were a bit puffy, and her hair was messy from sleep. She lifted up one arm and pulled the white cotton sleeve of her nightgown back and swallowed a gasp.

Hives.

Lots of them, running up and down her arm so willingly it tore at her lungs and made her eyes sparkle with tears. Her other arm was no different. She went limp, clutching the bureau for support as she stayed there to let her hot tears fall. She bit her lip and moaned in agony as they reopened the sores. Wiping them away frantically, she jumped when the door opened.

One of the three was the nurse, who strode right over and plunged a thermometer into Elphaba's mouth and under her tongue.

The other two were her doctor and Fiyero, who almost dropped the flowers he'd brought her when he saw her unstable figure.

"How are you today, miss Elphaba?" The doctor smiled.

Elphaba took a look down at her feet and moved them so she could stand firmer and straighter. Was she alright?

She glanced back into the mirror, but then she thought better and climbed back into bed, twisting her hair with one finger and holding out the other hand for the flowers.

"I suppose so," she replied carefully. "I just feel weak."

Fiyero leaned against the door frame, pretending to be interested in the books on the shelf. He was worried about Elphaba's response when he spoke to her. It was better to just leave her be. He didn't want to be yelled at again.

His cheeks flushed when she was finally prepared and came his way. Fumbling in his pocket, he pulled out his keys and thanked the doctor.

* * *

"ELPHIE! ELPHIE! ELPHIEEEEEEEE!" Glinda bounded down from the front stairs to Shiz and enfolded her best friend in her arms. "Oh, Elphie! Fiyero told me all about it you know how you fell down and you were burning all over and I was so worried and afraid I went home and started to cry and I touched all your clothes and I thought you died and it was so super terriblilus..."

"Glin," Elphaba said calmly, "Slow down, please. I can't-"

"And then Boq came in to my room and he said 'Is there anything I can do to help Glinda' and I was like 'No fool get the hell away from me' and then Nessa came in and asked what was wrong and I said what happened and she's so super sad and she's crying and she's cursing Fiyero out..."

"Glinda. Slow. Talk slowly. And is Nessa really..."

"Yep she's going and hitting her pillow so hard and then she tried to get up and she fell flat on her face and I laughed, but only a little."

"GLINDA!"

"What?" Glinda said simply.

Elphaba sighed. "Maybe...we should just have lunch?"

"I have to talk to Fiyero," Glinda said. "Alone."

Elphaba looked between her and Fiyero, who was standing there perplexed.

Finally she nodded and trudged up to the school to find her sister.

"So. You still want Elphie, right?" Glinda smiled when she was sure her friend was out of earshot.

"Yeah, I guess. Why?"

"I have the PERFECT plan. It goes along with the style thing. It's back there, behind the big oak tree. Just go and change into it, and come see me in Elphie's room."

"What if it doesn't fit?" Fiyero crossed his arms.

"Oh, it'll fit." Glinda smiled mischievously. "It will fit."

Glinda went back up to Elphaba's dorm room and walked in to see her best friend rubbing Nessa's back.

"It's alright. I wasn't going to die. I was going to be fine."

Nessa sniffed and wrapped her arms around her sister tighter before letting go. Looking up to see Glinda, she wheeled herself out.

"Is she OK?" Glinda asked gently.

Elphaba nodded. "Yeah, she'll be alright. She's just a little shaken."

A knock came from the door and Glinda gave everything she had to stifle a giggle.

"Do you want to go to the beach, Elphie?" She asked, getting up to answer it.

"Why?" Elphaba asked slowly.

Glinda smirked and opened the door.

Fiyero stood there, in nothing but a small covering that resembled a woman's underwear. It was close fitting, and both girls could see the bulge in the front.

A speedo.

"Whew! That thing moves!" Glinda laughed happily, dancing along.

"Oh. My. God!" Elphaba shrieked and covered her eyes. "Glinda, I just might kill you."


	8. Chapter 8

Fiyero turned bright red and darted out of the room. Glinda grinned, oblivious to Elphaba's horrified expression and sat on the bed, pulling out a box out of her drawer.

"Glinda?" Elphaba turned to her, her knees weak and her eyes darting from the door to the blonde.

"Sexy, right? I see that look. I found his suit at Madame Oz's. It's a limited edition." Glinda tapped a finger to her chin in thought. "Maybe he was the next size up."

"_Next size up!?_" Elphaba squeaked. "How many of those did they have!?"

"Just three of that kind. Then they came in purple!" Glinda smiled.

"I never want to see Fiyero in _anything_ that skimpy again!" Elphaba grabbed Glinda's arm and huffed. "Why did you even think of that?"

"Well, there are different kinds of fashion..." Glinda began, pulling nail polish out of the box and laying it in front of her. "There's fashion in stuff, and fashion in clothing. Fashion in stuff would include the car, which you weren't impressed with-"

"-Because you _freakin stole_ it!"

"-And then...I figured something. 'Maybe Elphie likes good clothing.' So I went out, found Fiyero a tuxedo, some sunglasses, a new pair of shoes-"

"And a speedo?" Elphaba snarled.

"Yup. And best of all, new cologne. He needed it." Glinda selected a pink sparkly polish and handed it to her friend. "For your date tonight."

"Date?" Elphaba's mouth dropped open. "Nope. No way. No date."

"Yes date. I already set it up. You're meeting him at _Tout Est Brocoli._ It's a french resturant four blocks away. It has an arcade, live music, a show...Elphie, you're gonna love it!"

"Love it?"

"Yes! You'll fit right in." Glinda smiled.

"Psh. I don't fit in anywhere." Elphaba mumbled as Glinda raided her closet to find her something to wear.

* * *

"May I take your coats?"

Fiyero and Elphaba walked into the restaurant. Fiyero had worn his tuxedo for Elphaba after Glinda suggested he wear the speedo. Elphaba's hair had been let down and waved, but was held to one side in a sparkling black clip. She covered herself in a long velvet dress that was just long enough to touch the marble floors. Other than her unhappy expression, she looked quite nice.

"Sure," Fiyero shed Elphaba of her coat and his own, and handed it to a short man in a green velvet suit. Every employee was wearing one.

The two were set down at a table for two in the middle of the room, and eyes greedily prodded Elphaba. She made an attempt to hide behind her menu before a voice startled her.

"Drinks?" Said a women in a velvet green dress. Her hair was very curly and red. She set her eyes on Fiyero, and suddenly she adopted a much sweeter tone. "Oh...drinks for you, sweetheart?"

"Uh, yes. I'd like a soft drink?"

"It's page 5 in your menu." She gushed.

Fiyero smiled politely and turned to his menu. Suddenly his smile faded.

"Um, excuse me..." Fiyero read her name tag. "Betty? What is a _le __brocoli doux_?"

"Oh, that's a great one."

Elphaba rolled her eyes and looked at Fiyero for any discomfort with Betty's flirting. None. Her heart dropped a little.

"It's like sprite, except with a little spike of broccoli."

"Um. Okay. Sure. Is that what you want, El?"

"Sure. Two please."

Betty nodded without looking at Fiyero's date.

"I have to say, I've never tried a soft drink with broccoli before. That's a new one." Fiyero chuckled.

Betty giggled. "Yes, well, it's always nice to try new foods..." Her eyes traveled him up and down. "...Or people." She winked and stuffed the notepad in her pocket. "I'll be right back."

Elphaba sighed. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

They finally ordered the _brocoli supreme,_ and_ le repas du brocoli. _The show ended up being a dancing broccoli, and the arcade was full of broccoli centered games. The live music was Gwen Titters who sang "Broccoli Is The Mother Effin Bomb." Elphaba pulled out her phone and looked up the restaurant.

"Oh my gosh..." Elphaba froze.

Fiyero pulled his eyes away from the singer and furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

"'Tout est brocoli' means "Everything is broccoli" in French." Elphaba said, clearly shocked. Her mind flashed back to Glinda's words. "'_You'll fit right in..._'"

Fiyero raised his eyebrows and stood, holding out his hand to her.

"Well, in that case, I'm leaving my broccoli soft drink here and running for it!"

* * *

**Just in case you were curious...**

**FRENCH GLOSSARY:**

**Tout est brocoli..."Everything Is Broccoli"**

**Brocoli supreme..."Broccoli Supreme"**

**Le repas du brocoli..."The broccoli meal"**

**Le brocoli doux... "The broccoli sweet"**


End file.
